Why i became an EP mom?

Everyone has their own reasons, medical or not and i have mine. In the earlier months, they would scream and cry after most direct feed and i had to gave in to topping up with formula. I was struggling with confidence issues, even when i had Iris back then. And now with twins, the lack of confidence just got worse and i felt defeated. I felt useless for not being able to satisfy my babies' hunger.

So i thought that if i regularly pump, my milk supply with increase and i will know how much my babies have taken at each session, so no more confidence issue. 2 months plus now since i started, i'm still having to top up with formula, though i'd like to think at much less frequency than during the earlier months.

If my milk supply hasn't tremendously improved, i only have myself to blame. Through this journey and experience, i have learned 3 things....hardwork (usaha), pray to Allah (doa & tawakkal) and acceptance of whatever He gives to you (redha). But perhaps i haven't given 100% to all 3 and that's why i'm still supplementing with formula.

What keeps me going is the will to give whatever breastmilk i still have to my babies....some breastmilk is better than no breastmilk at all, right? I want to keep going...keep pumping. Yeah its tough, like for the past 2-3 weeks, in laws were around, long distance trips etc has made my pumping routine gone haywire. And as a result, i could see my supply dwindling. Yet i can't give up....i still have a long way to go.

I wonder how other EP moms out there manage their routine when they go out??

The challenges of an exclusively pumping mum

We just got back from a week long trip and boy, am i exhausted! Pity the twins coz they are still not well and there i was, dragging them all the way to Langkawi. But one thing i realised on the trip was how difficult it was to stick with my pumping routine, especially when we were travelling with a bunch of other people,who might or might not understand why i disappear every now and again for 15-20 minutes or so. You know la...you feel like you don't want to make anyone wait for you all the time.

And so, because of that, i ended up skipping a few sessions, for which now am paying a hefty price. My milk supply has dropped. Susah la kan...when you have other people involved..other people here i mean in laws. If its just Mr. Hubby, i can just make him wait...heheheh. Besides he has grown accustomed to my pumping routine.

Sikit sikit rushing...bila dah malam, badan dah penat..langsung tak bangun. Hmmm......its crazy how i "thought" i was bored with the same old routine everyday, but when i was actually away from those routine, i actually missed them. Especially when those routine made sure that i'm able to give EBM to my babies. I AM A SELF-CONFESSED ROUTINE FREAK! Am so glad to get back into them :o)

Some pics from the trip....

Lama tak tengok sawah padi

Driving thru kampung road

Taman tasik Taiping

Baby Arslan jatuh!

Last Sunday night was a night that i can never forget and Alhamdulillah, Arslan is ok. We just came back from pasar malam and was going up to our unit. I was holding Ayra and MIL was holding Arslan, and other things she bought at the pasar malam.

As we got out of the lift, Iris...being Iris decided to play footsie with her grandma (actually i don't know if she was playing or it was also by accident), then suddenly all i remember was seeing my MIL tripped and the next second, Arslan was lying on the floor, face down. Ya Allah!!!!!! I couldn't say anything....i just froze right there. My MIL was close to tears and Iris was already crying.

She picked up Arslan..who was already wailing. We quickly when to DSH for check up and did an xray to make sure that there's no wrong.

Poor baby! Alhamdulillah...he is ok. The last few days i've been monitoring to see if he's vomitting, or overly sleepy...signs to watch out for. But takde.

Words cannot describe my feelings when i saw him on the floor...my heart just fell.

My poor baby..after the xray